If I had a pair of Louboutins for every time a I’ve heard a man refer to a babe/chick/girl/lady/woman (sometimes a current but mostly a prior love interest) as crazy I would look like a Cheshire cat whose milk was laced with scotch and ecstasy. I would be freaking rapturous. One of the conversations that came up over a Sunday lunch with a group of friends was why women are/act crazy in or as a result of romantic relationships or entanglements. I am currently reading Gillian Flynn’s ‘Gone Girl’ – a thriller about the bizarre relationship between a married couple (the review will be up in a few days!) and this issue definitely comes up. Anyway, one of my best friends contacted me today to have a little rant about a guy who is doing her head in. She knew I’d understand because I have called her in an identical position in recent times. Do women just overreact all the time for absolutely no reason? Are women crazy? These questions require answers.
So I thought, Right, someone needs to shed some light on this issue and I’ve nominated myself. Yes. You’re Welcome. Send me the case of Tuscan 2007 Sassicaia Cabernet Sauvignon later.
I am here to break this down to the gentlemen who have made ‘She’s crazy’ , ‘B*tches be cray cray’ etc ubiquitous phrases, who throw the words around like crystal meth in Breaking Bad. This is the bit where I slather on the caveats like creamy armour so here goes-I’m not speaking for ALL women in the entire world but most, in MY opinion. Also, my explanation of the reasons behind crazy behaviour should not be taken as an acceptance of/admission to the ‘women are crazy’ premise. Its just a game we are playing – just good fun, guys.
These are 4 explanation for crazy behaviour in a romantic context on the part of perfectly sane reasonable, dare I say, normal women.
1. She has been given the wrong impression about a situation. This riles a lot of women on so many levels. The person alleging her craziness tends to have communicated to her by either words or conduct (the latter is where it tends to get messy) that something is the case and she later finds out that it is not. Say, Boy meets Girl. Boy demonstrates a lot of interest in Girl through lascivious glances and ample compliments. Boy asks Girl out several times always stating that he had a great time- the enthusiasm greater each time. Girl is enjoying Boy’s company at this point. She’s starting to think he’s kind of awesome. And then he never calls her again. EVER. (OR contacts her one month later and mention oh so casually, in passing that he is engaged to be married. He even hands her an invitation card because he’s just that awesome) WTF?! When a woman is led to believe she is your girlfriend and finds out she is actually your side chick or mistress please stop playing victim or looking shocked and bewildered when she erupts like an egg being microwaved.
Unfortunately, this also includes her giving herself the wrong impression about a situation e.g. that cliche of her telling herself she wants to date casually and just have a good time with no strings attached then you find her list of potential names of the first child she has decided that both of you will have be next year. Ewo! You on the other hand having honoured your side of the agreement by not developing feelings, now looks like Pol Pot. That drink is called ‘Awkward on the rocks with lime and a mini umbrella’ my friends. Drink up!
2. She was upset about something or several thing you did ages ago but never said because she didn’t want to seem uptight/unsexy/too critical and now sh*t has hit the fan and she is telling you how she really feels. Her way of telling you how she feels can range from screaming at you in public to slashing your car tyres. I’m not saying it makes sense but there’s a way that pent up anger disables a woman’s capacity for rational thought. This situation usually occurs when she has repeatedly asked you to do or not do something to no avail and has (because women lead with emotions) interpreted your behaviour as an attempt to undermine her intelligence, disrespect her, or just proof that you really don’t care about her. That’s a genuine dilemma for us womenfolk – we don’t want to say anything and come off crazy so we shut up and whack on that sweet girl smile, not realizing that we are just storing up the crazy for another day when he is actually blameless, then we crush him with Hurricane Crazy and of course our behaviour will seem adhoc and undeserved and perhaps even….i don’t know…crazy?
3. She just acts weird sometimes for fun. This one is tricky to explain but sometimes a woman just wants to push her mans buttons a little bit just for the hell of it. She means no harm and even as she’s behaving crazy she’s thinking ‘why on earth am I doing this?’ but being lovely and graceful all the time can be exhausting. The fact that you put up with her craziness is an extra reason to love you and she won’t have that if she doesn’t act crazy. It is totally ridiculous but its true.
4.She’s actually justified in her crazy behaviour in this instance. .She’s displaying behaviour that men would if they were under the same amount of pressure (*cough* or even less ) or dealing with the same challenges she has. But because she has an ovary and scientifically it has been proven that PMT can possibly ,on occasion make her emotional state a tad volatile, you call her crazy. STOP IT DOUCHEBAG
Finally, This is a hilarious account of this subject by Nigerian radio show host, Toke Makinwa
I’ll stop there for now. I’d love to know what you think on the subject, your experiences and anecdotes whether or not you agree with me!